The 3rd Tradition

“The only requirement for membership in CoDA is a desire for healthy and loving relationships.”

 The Welcome of Co-Dependents Anonymous


We welcome you to Co-Dependents Anonymous, a program of recovery from codependence, where each of us may share our experience, strength, and hope in our efforts to find freedom where there has been bondage and peace where there has been turmoil in our relationships with others and ourselves.

Most of us have been searching for ways to overcome the dilemmas of the conflicts in our relationships and our childhoods. Many of us were raised in families where addictions existed - some of us were not. In either case, we have found in each of our lives that codependence is a most deeply rooted compulsive behavior and that it is born out of our sometimes moderately, sometimes extremely dysfunctional families and other systems. We have each experienced in our own ways the painful trauma of the emptiness of our childhood and relationships throughout our lives.

We attempted to use others - our mates, friends, and even our children, as our sole source of identity, value and well being, and as a way of trying to restore within us the emotional losses from our childhoods. Our histories may include other powerful addictions which at times we have used to cope with our codependence.

We have all learned to survive life, but in CoDA we are learning to live life. Through applying the Twelve Steps and principles found in CoDA to our daily life and relationships ­ both present and past - we can experience a new freedom from our self defeating lifestyles. It is an individual growth process. Each of us is growing at our own pace and will continue to do so as we remain open to God's will for us on a daily basis. Our sharing is our way of identification and helps us to free the emotional bonds of our past and the compulsive control of our present.

No matter how traumatic your past or despairing your present may seem, there is hope for a new day in the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. No longer do you need to rely on others as a power greater than yourself. May you instead find here a new strength within to be that which God intended - Precious and Free. 

 

The Twelve Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous


1. We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other co-dependents, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

The Twelve Traditions of Co-Dependents Anonymous


1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon CoDA unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving Higher Power as expressed to our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for membership in CoDA is a desire for healthy and loving relationships.

4. Each group should remain autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or CoDA as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry its message to other co-dependents who still suffer.

6. A CoDA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the CoDA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim.

7. A CoDA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. Co-Dependents Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

9. CoDA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. CoDA has no opinion on outside issues; hence the CoDA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions; ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

The Twelve Promises of Co-Dependents Anonymous


I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions...

1. I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.

2. I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity and dignity.

3. I know a new freedom.

4. I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.

5. I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved.

6. I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.

7. I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.

8. I learn that it is possible to mend - to become more loving, intimate and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.

9. I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.

10. I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.

11. I trust the guidance I receive from my Higher Power and come to believe in my own capabilities.

12. I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.

CoDA LITERATURE
Link for FREE pamphlets to download from coda.org: https://coda.org/meeting-materials/service-materials/
To purchase literature: www.corepublications.org

The 7th Tradition

“A CoDA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.”

Our Seventh Tradition reminds us that we are self-supporting through our own contributions. We ask that you donate as you can. Seventh Traditions donations are used to support meeting expenses and literature, and to support CoDA at the community and national levels.

CoDA groups encourage responsibility in financial matters, such as paying for meeting room space, literature and refreshments. We maintain treasuries through voluntary contributions from members only. After the group meets its own needs and obligation, it is suggested that excess funds over and above a prudent reserve be distributed to the larger communities of CoDA: local, state, regional, national or international. Co-Dependents Anonymous does not accept large contributions from any individual, nor do we accept money, space or services from non-CoDA sources. Thus, we maintain accountability and independence.

At almost every meeting, a basket is passed to collect money, known as The Seventh Tradition.

What do we do with Seventh Tradition funds?

  • At the meeting level:

    • Paying the rent on the space used for holding meetings, and for providing any coffee or other things that might be served.

    • Literature, and welcome & CoDA birthday tokens, are paid for out of these funds, although literature is most often sold and is thus self-supporting. At times, the literature may need assistance for new items or should anything happen to the literature stock.

    • After meeting expenses are paid, many groups establish a “prudent reserve” that covers two months worth of expenses. It’s a savings fund that may be used if meeting donations do not cover expenses.

  • At the community level:

    • The money goes to provide services to all registered CoDA groups in the Coachella Valley. We support all co-dependents by providing a newsletter, literature sales, a website, outreach and events, and other programs that the community may run or sponsor. The community is made up of board representatives and group service representatives from the CoDA meetings in the Coachella Valley.

    • The CoDA of the Desert community also establishes a prudent reserve as part of its annual budgeting process.

  • At the regional level:

    • The Southern California Region of Co-Dependents Anonymous provides a bridge between the many Southern California CoDA communities and the CoDA World organization.

What happens to funds in excess of the prudent reserve?

Meetings with funds in excess of their prudent reserve may donate excess amounts as follows:

60% to CoDA of the Desert

20% to SoCal CoDA

  • Southern California CoDA
    10866 Washington Blvd. #1266
    Culver City, CA. 90232

  • Zelle account: chair@socalcoda.org

20% to CoDA World

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